How to Make a Man Love You & Never Leave

Transcript

0:04 hi I'm doctor Jennifer Jones clinical

0:07 psychologist specializing love happiness

0:10 parenting and sex today I had someone

0:14 ask me how do I make a man love me and

0:18 never leave and I'd like to reframe that

0:21 question is to how to feel mutual love

0:26 so that the relationship will last

0:29 forever

0:29 so here's to all you believers in love

0:33 and romantics out there I'm going to

0:35 talk to you about strengthening your

0:37 love being in love not necessarily

0:40 shifting it a little bit from how to

0:42 make someone love you to how to feel

0:44 loved and how that reciprocal love

0:46 that's the key shift that perspective

0:49 step one

0:50 let me tell you very quickly about the

0:53 three types of love and this is all

0:54 based upon neurology there are different

0:57 neurotransmitters for each type of love

1:00 and the trick here is to address all

1:03 three types of love when you are

1:06 establishing a romantic relationship or

1:08 even when you've been in a long-term

1:10 relationship and you need to reignite

1:12 your spark so here's what you do and

1:14 here are the three types of love the

1:16 first one is lust and I think we all

1:19 know what lust means if you forgotten go

1:22 visit a nightclub watch Showtime after

1:26 dark lust is that passion that that you

1:30 know you just want to jump on someone

1:31 and this is very these are attached to

1:36 very primal neurotransmitters and we all

1:39 know less is fleeting usually lust

1:41 occurs in the initial moments of the

1:43 relationship but it doesn't necessarily

1:45 endure with the same strength and that's

1:48 exactly how it's meant to be in terms of

1:50 our illusion evolution the second one is

1:54 romantic attraction and romantic love

1:58 and that's stuff of the Titanic it's you

2:02 know romance novels it's a honeymoon

2:07 it's passionate embraces it's the stuff

2:10 that we Americans die for romantic love

2:14 wonderful and I highly encourage that of

2:17 course but that's not all of it

2:19 the most powerful type of love and a

2:21 love that really cements relationships

2:24 and enables relationships to last

2:28 forever as the person who the inquiry

2:33 was to never leave me you can also say

2:36 to never leave each other is attachment

2:39 and attachment has the same exact

2:42 neurotransmitters as the feelings that a

2:45 mother and a baby have for each other

2:48 the same exact processes going on in the

2:50 brain so when you think of attachment

2:52 what the real key here is safety it's

2:56 connection safety knowing that this

2:59 person is never going to leave you no

3:01 matter what and that's such a much much

3:05 deeper foundation of love that far

3:08 trumps romantic love and far surpasses

3:11 lust but typically in relationships do

3:16 the relationship is riding more on one

3:19 of the three then having a more of a

3:22 balance so most long-term relationships

3:26 are really good at attachment not so

3:29 good at lust most short-term

3:32 relationships are really good at lust -

3:34 not so good with it at less than the

3:36 romantic love and not so good at

3:38 attachment the key here to making your

3:41 love be the most amazing love in the

3:44 world of last forever and to have a

3:46 mutual reciprocal love is to balance all

3:50 three love romantic love lust and

3:54 attachment so those are my basic tips I

3:59 have lots more on that on my website

4:01 it's my favorite thing to talk about

4:02 love talking about love please come see

4:05 me dr. Jennifer com

4:07 that's WWD our je n ni fer calm and I'll

4:13 teach you all about love anything you

4:15 ever wanted to know Thanks

4:22 you

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