A guy has given you his number, so you know he's interested. The ball is now in your court. Enjoy the anticipation of a potential new relationship. Getting a guy to chase you is more about what you don't do than what you do.
Bide Your Time
You may be tempted to text the guy right away, but if you want him to chase you, hold back a little. If you leave him wondering whether he'll hear from you for a day or two, he'll be even more delighted when you do make contact. Keep busy with your kids, friends and work. When you do text him, keep it casual. Ask him how his day has been or what he has planned for the weekend, but don't ask him on a date. Now that you have texted him, he has your number and he can make the next move.
Curb the Contact
It's easy to get carried away when you start texting a guy. You're at home, the kids are in bed and you want to keep the conversation going. Willpower is required here. Keep texting to a minimum, advises psychologist Diana Kirschner in a "Cosmopolitan" article. What starts off as flattering and exciting may soon become overwhelming. When he texts you, wait an hour or so before replying to keep him on his toes. Read over what you have written before you hit "send," and never text him when you're drunk or emotional or you may say something you regret, warns Kirschner.
Keep Him Guessing
Serious game-playing may backfire, but there's no harm in playing hard to get. A study of more than 1500 people published in the "European Journal of Personality" found that the more unavailable a person is, the more time and energy another person will be willing to invest in that person. To keep the guy guessing, vary your level of interest in him. Don't go too far either way, or he may think you're fickle or not interested at all. Holding back a little in the initial stages will keep him guessing and may make him more determined to hold onto you. Men enjoy the chase, confirms relationship coach Rori Raye in the article "Are You Stopping Him from Falling for You?" for eHarmony.
Have a Life
When the guy asks you out, don't be too available. Tell him you'd love to see him but you already have plans that night, and suggest an alternative night to meet. This shows him that you have a full, busy social life and that you don't need him to fulfill you. Be sincere in your apology and warm and enthusiastic when you're talking to him, and he won't feel rejected.
C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."
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