You’re beaming as you get home from a wonderful second date with a guy you just met. Not only do you have a lot in common, you also got the feeling that he had as much fun on the dates as you did. You’re confused and more hurt than you care to admit when he starts blowing you off. How do you maintain your pride when you run into him again?
Time to Hang Up
While you may quite like him, he may not be interested in you. If the guy is not answering your calls, it is a clear sign that he is blowing you off. And if you are leaving him voice mails and the guy does not have the decency to call you back, he just wants you to back off and leave him alone. So, what should you do? Stop calling him. He may have had fun on your date, but the fact that he is not getting back to you is a sure sign that he is not interested in taking this further.
Cold Shoulder From Co-Worker
You could kick yourself for breaking the cardinal rule of not dating your co-worker. But it’s water under the bridge now. You are constantly running into him and he is pretending as if he doesn’t even know you. What do you do? Follow his lead and pretend that you never hit if off outside of work. His behavior speaks volumes. So don’t worry about “clearing the air” by pulling him aside and having a chat with him. That will only make the situation more uncomfortable for both of you.
Stop Looking at His Profile
Professors H. Colleen Sinclair and Irene Frieze report in a study titled "Initial Courtship Behavior and Stalking: How Should We Draw the Line?" in the “Journal of Violence and Victims” that there is a thin line between courtship and stalking. If you begin following his virtual moves, you are probably stalking him. Anger and sadness are fueling your obsessive behavior, they report. Address these feelings by talking to friends and journaling.
Pay Attention to Responses
If you really want to confront him to ask about his intentions, read between the lines if he is vague. If he makes an excuse or offers a confusing response, gracefully move on. He is trying not to hurt your feelings. Prolonging this meeting will make you appear desperate. Hold your head high as you walk away knowing that there are plenty of other men who will welcome your affection.
Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.