Although most people text, figuring out how much texting is too much is far from a science. Although some people make texting a part of their daily routine, others may feel distracted and annoyed by daily text messages. Whether you should keep texting a guy every day depends on your relationship, your motives and how he responds to you.
Look at His Responses
One way to tell whether you should keep texting a guy every day is to look at how he responds to your messages. If your texts usually lead to a long back-and-forth exchange and he makes a point to keep the conversation going, then it is probably neither weird nor annoying to keep up your daily texting. If the guy gives you one-word answers or does not respond to your texts at all, however, this might be a sign that you are texting him too much.
Consider Your Relationship
Texting your best guy friend every day is different than texting a new boyfriend daily. When you are just getting to know someone, texting can be an easy, low-pressure way to get to know each other, but daily texting might be too much, especially if the conversation does not flow naturally and you do not have much to talk about. In his article "Are You Erecting Love Barriers Part Two: Coming On Too Strong" for “Psychology Today,” clinical psychologist Gerry Heisler explains that within relationships, one partner may be more excited about the romance than the other person. Although you may love your partner and want to show your excitement by texting him every day, he might not be so enthusiastic. In these cases, if you text him every day, you might be coming on too strong and pushing him away. If you have an established relationship with this guy and are used to having regular conversations, however, then it is probably OK to keep texting him every day.
Trust Your Instincts
If your gut instincts tell you that you are texting too much, it might be a good idea to back off and let the guy send you a message first. Social psychology author Carlin Flora says in the article "Making Decisions: When to Go with Your Gut" for “Women’s Health” magazine that instincts are not just guesses, but rather “unconscious reasoning” based on past experiences. If your gut feeling tells you that texting daily is a little too often, this might be because similar situations in the past have led to bad outcomes.
Have a Conversation
If you are in a committed relationship with the guy you are texting, having a conversation with him about how much he expects to talk to you might help clarify the situation. This can help strengthen your communication skills and help you confirm or refute your thoughts on whether you are coming across as weird or annoying. This type of candid discussion can help you see how your guy is feeling and help you take a closer look at your own self-esteem and motives. For example, your conversation might show you that even though your guy is happy, you are worried you are texting too much because you are insecure about the relationship. Conversations about your concerns can be a good way for you to grow, both in your relationships and as an individual.
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Anna Green has been published in the "Journal of Counselor Education and Supervision" and has been featured regularly in "Counseling News and Notes," Keys Weekly newspapers, "Travel Host Magazine" and "Travel South." After earning degrees in political science and English, she attended law school, then earned her master's of science in mental health counseling. She is the founder of a nonprofit mental health group and personal coaching service.
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