Relationships can make you feel as high as the sky when things are going well or down in the dumps when it seems like things are going downhill. When you’ve waited all day and your guy hasn’t called you like he said he would, this is a time to take a deep breath, act rationally and respond appropriately to this relationship misdemeanor.
Why It Hurts
When your guy forgets to call, it can make you feel ignored or even forgotten. And you may have a difficult time stopping yourself from reading a lot into it. It’s easy to slip into feeling insecure about your relationship. You may find yourself wondering, “Is he with someone else?” or “Am I as important to him as he says I am?”
If your guy forgets to call occasionally, try not to make a big deal out of it. It’s unlikely that his feelings for you have changed or that he doesn’t value you. It simply means that he’s human and makes mistakes. Maybe he’s the forgetful type. Maybe he can be a bit scatterbrained. You can forgive him. And maybe one day you will chalk it up as an annoying, but potentially endearing personality quirk.
Step Away From the Phone
Whatever you do, don’t turn into psycho girlfriend. No matter how tempting it is, don’t start calling him back repeatedly or sending him long text messages. Even though your guy was in the wrong by not calling you, he will interpret your over-the-top behavior as insecurity. And he would be right. Lovers make all kinds of mistakes while dating, including not calling when they say they will sometimes. Overreacting to a minor mistake such as this can be a sign that you are not feeling secure enough in yourself or in your relationship. This may impact your relationship and will likely turn your guy off over the long term.
Fill Up Your Time
If you keep yourself busy during the times that he is supposed to call, then you will no longer sit there waiting for him. You may not even notice that he hasn’t called. In fact, when he calls you and you are busy doing something else, it sends a signal to him that you have a full and fulfilling life outside of your relationship with him. He may even begin to wonder how he can fit into your busy schedule. Interestingly enough, this may make him call you more!
Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.
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