Being clingy, or overly needing your boyfriend's attention, is likely to make him feel suffocated. Learn to step back and give him some breathing space, for your boyfriend's good and for your relationship's as well. Giving space is about trusting your boyfriend and allowing him to have a life of his own and to celebrate his individuality. Recognize the warning signs of your clinginess before the situation turns worse and you end up losing your boyfriend and a relationship that could've been beautiful.
Include "his time without me" into your daily routine. Make it a rule to leave your boyfriend alone during this time. Allow him to think alone, hang out with friends or pursue whatever that interests him during this time. Realize that by doing this, you'll give him more things to share with you, which you can add to your list of personal moments.
Allow your boyfriend exclusive time alone with his friends regularly. Let your boyfriend spend his time with his friends while you spend it with yours, each planning your own activities. For example, your boyfriend could go to a local football game while you spend time shopping; or your boyfriend and his company could laze out in front of a TV at home while you spend a spa day with your friends.
Learn to read your boyfriend's moods and preferences to understand when he needs his space. For example, imagine you are in a romantic mood and hug your boyfriend but you don't feel him being enthusiastic or even interested, let alone responding to your gesture; this is a sign to back off and give him his space. Understand that by being adamant and refusing to respect your boyfriend's back-off signs, you are being selfish; by giving space you prevent ending up in a fight, and chances are high that your boyfriend will seek you out once his mood changes.
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- Don't nag your boyfriend into giving you explanations when he is not willing. Pose your question and, if you don't find him forthcoming, leave him alone with a respectful, "Think about what I said. I'll wait until you're ready to talk."
Hailing out of Pittsburgh, Pa., David Stewart has been writing articles since 2004, specializing in consumer-oriented pieces. He holds an associate degree in specialized technology from the Pittsburgh Technical Institute.
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