Moving to a different state is a traumatic enough experience, but having to break the news of your move to you boyfriend can be almost as difficult. The situation threatens to be one where emotions run high and tears may be shed. Going in with a good plan will make it much easier to tell your boyfriend that you are moving to a different state.
On you own, decide whether this will be a break up or whether you want to pursue a long distance relationship. Maybe you would even like to invite your boyfriend to move with you?
Do some research about the best ways for your boyfriend to get to your new locations. Include driving route, trains, planes and buses.
Take a good look at your schedule and his schedule (as far as you know it) to figure out a few good options for visits.
Make a date with your boyfriend to meet in a place that is private and comfortable.
Use a kind tone to tell your boyfriend that you have something difficult to tell him. Be direct about this.
Explain the situation to your boyfriend. Make sure to include all the reasons that the move is important to you and why you have to do it.
If you have decided that you want to pursue the relationship, tell him in a heartfelt way that you know this is a difficult situation but you want to stay together.
Show him all the research you have done surrounding the travel options and possible trip dates. This will show him that you are willing to work for the relationship.
If you have decided to invite your boyfriend to move with you, now is the time to do it. Tell him that you understand what a big deal this would be for him, but that the relationship means a great deal to you.
Allow your boyfriend to have whatever reaction he has. If he is angry, let him vent. If he is crying, hold him and be sweet to him. Give him freedom to react naturally.
Your boyfriend may need some time to think about the situation. Tell him that you understand and to take some space and time if he needs it.
- Be honest and kind.
- Don't expect your boyfriend to come up with his answer right away.
Phaea Crede is a NYC based comedian and writer. You can see her perform monthly with her sketch troupe "mixtape '98" at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre, also monthly as the host of the comedy show "Delusions of Spandex" at the Parkside Lounge, and at random times with her improv team "Hot for Gym Teacher".