People start relationships with the best of intentions. Sometimes, both people are equally happy, and they continue a loving, healthy relationship. Unfortunately, there are other times when something goes wrong, and one or both parties want out of the relationship. When one person leaves the other, and the second person doesn’t want to break up, it can be extremely difficult to move on. Luckily, there are a few tips and tricks to winning back your ex-boyfriend, or at least getting him to be open to the idea of possibly getting back together in the future.
Recall the true reasons why the breakup occurred. Some reasons may be fixable -- maybe one person neglected the other, which is something that can be changed. However, if some form of abuse or betrayal occurred, it may not only be impossible to get over it and fix it, but it may also be unhealthy to do so. Determine the reasons and possible fixes for the breakup before proceeding.
Spend time with close friends who will bring out great qualities. Have fun, stay positive and show the world, and the ex, that the most important thing in life is feeling good and making others feel good.
Emulate the characteristics that you projected in the beginning of the relationship -- these are the traits that made the ex-boyfriend fall in love with you in the first place. Showcase those same attractive traits, whether a sense of humor, a bright smile or intelligence.
Wear the clothing and outfits that the ex-boyfriend was attracted to during the relationship. This will remind him of what he once had.
Ask the ex-boyfriend if he’d like to get together for a casual date sometime. This should be something simple, like getting a drink or taking dogs for a walk together. Even a group date is a good option, since there won’t be a lot of pressure on him. Don’t expect the plans to be too committal -- treat the situation as if he were a friend.
Tell him your feelings about the relationship and breakup, if he seems open to the conversation. Without getting too emotional, let him know that you’ve been thinking about him and feel that you have solutions to the relationship problems of the past.
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- Though breakups can be difficult, it’s best to not beg and plead for a boyfriend to stay in the relationship. Instead of showing him that he doesn’t really want the breakup, he may be driven away and turned off even more to the idea of a relationship. By letting him go without too much of a fight, he’ll have time to reflect on his lingering feelings and decide if he made a mistake by leaving.
As a full-time writer in New York's Hudson Valley, Lindsay Pietroluongo's nightlife column and photos have appeared regularly in the "Poughkeepsie Journal" since 2007. Additional publications include "Chronogram," the "New Paltz Sojourn," "About Town" newspaper and "Outsider" magazine. Pietroluongo graduated from Marist College with a B.A. in English.
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