Possessiveness can compromise your ability to interact with your friends and family members because your boyfriend always wants to know what you are doing, or wants you to do everything with him. When a boyfriend becomes possessive, that could be a warning sign that it is time to end the relationship. Doing so can change your life in many ways, and make you more conscious of self-protection.
Take actions to help ensure your well-being. Make your friends and family members aware that you are breaking up with your possessive boyfriend. Ending a relationship can cause hurt feelings, and that can lead to unpredictable behaviors. Even if you do not suspect your boyfriend will lash out or become aggressive when you break up with him, telling a person close to you about your plans could will help ensure your safety. Tell a friend or family member that you will call after you break up.
Express to him that you are ending the relationship. Be clear with your boyfriend about what you want--whether it is to remain friends or stop seeing him. Avoid letting him try to convince you that you will date him again.
Avoid contacting him after the breakup. Contacting him after the relationship has ended will make him think that you miss him, and are thinking about beginning the relationship again. If he contacts you, keep the conversations short.
Find other people with whom to engage in activities. Spend time with other people to fill the time you spent with your boyfriend. Call your friends. Make plans to go out to dinner or have a girls night out. Join an activities club.
Move on with your life. When you were in a relationship, you spent some of your time engaged in activities that only he enjoyed. Try activities that you put off while you were in the relationship, such as taking a dance class. Enjoy yourself. This will let your ex-boyfriend know that have a new outlook, and you're not going to return to a relationship with him.
Take more drastic actions, if necessary. Ensure your safety upon ending the relationship and after the relationship has ended only if your boyfriend's possessiveness become more severe. A boyfriend who is overly possessive can become abusive and threaten your safety. According to the Mayo Clinic, abuse can be very subtle at first. But look out for controlling, jealous or possessive behaviors. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE or 911 if there is an indication of danger, or he threatens your safety.
Alia Butler holds a Master of Social Work from Washington University, St. Louis, concentrating in mental health, and a Master of Arts in social-organizational psychology from Columbia University. Currently, Butler is a freelance writer, penning articles focusing on mental health, healthy living and issues surrounding work-life balance. She is the principle/owner of ALIA Living, LLC, providing residential interior design services, professional organizing and life coaching.