How to Deal With a Neglectful Boyfriend

by Todd Bowerman

A neglectful boyfriend not only hurts your feelings, but also endangers your relationship through his behavior. Not every neglectful boyfriend realizes his behavior is neglectful, and it is worth noting that each person defines “neglect” in a different manner. Some boyfriends may simply be trying to give you personal space without understanding you interpret it as neglect. There may be no way to fix the problem, but if you work to address the issue you may find your boyfriend didn’t even realize there was a problem to begin with.

Ask yourself if your boyfriend is truly neglectful, or if you are demanding too much of him. Your boyfriend should pay attention to you, but it is unrealistic to expect a text message every few hours or a passionate embrace every time you meet.

Identify the behaviors that make you feel neglected. Does your boyfriend go out with friends and leave you home alone? Did he forget an important date? Does he ignore you when you spend time together? Compile a list of what's bothering you before you talk to him.

Talk to your boyfriend about his behavior in a low-key environment where he can focus on what you are saying. Ask your boyfriend to meet you for a quiet dinner or a night at home.

Explain the way you feel to your boyfriend. Talk about specific behaviors that hurt your feelings and suggest ways he can change those behaviors. Some boys will be surprised to learn how you feel, but the hard truth is that a select few may not care.

Listen to your boyfriend’s reasoning for his behaviors. You may be surprised to learn his actions have different motivations than you may have thought.

Work with your boyfriend to develop a plan for moving forward. You should both look for compromises so that everyone can be as happy as possible without one person doing all of the work.

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Items you will need

  • patience
  • undivided attention


  • Remember that a boyfriend is not a husband. If he refuses to accommodate your feelings and continues to make you unhappy, it is time for you to leave.


  • Do not go into it mad, it is a guaranteed fight.
  • Do not say that can't do whatever you do not like at all. 1) they will get mad and not listen or 2) they will do it behind your back.

Photo Credits

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