Ending a relationship is always a challenge, regardless of who initiated the breakup. Even when a split is amicable, there are often leftover feelings that make a continuing friendship complicated at the very least. However, when an ex becomes jealous or demanding, it is useful to have techniques to handle their emotions.
Communicate the Problem
Call your ex. If this is uncomfortable, write him a letter or ask a friend to speak with him.
Tell him how his jealousy is impacting you, and how it makes you feel.
Be honest. Make sure he knows you are not interested in getting back together, and need him to cool down if he wants to even be able to maintain a friendship.
If you and your ex have mutual friends, ask those friends to speak with him about his behavior.
Cut Him Off
Find ways to distance yourself from your ex, particularly if he continues to express jealousy after you have told him his attitude is a problem.
Include your friends in this decision. Tell them what you're doing, and why. Ask for their help in maintaining a distance between you and your ex.
Alter your routines to avoid your ex, if necessary. Walk a different way to school, eat elsewhere and leave no room for doubt about your actions.
- Getting over jealousy takes time. The way your ex is acting today may not be the way he acts tomorrow.
Rebecca Kling is a Chicago-based performer and educator. She's a graduate of Northwestern University's Department of Performance Studies, a theater instructor around town and an independent performance artist. Her written work has been featured in Court Theater's "Review of Classic Theater," "Chicago IRL" issue #1. Kling is also syndicated through the BlogHer network.