You wait for your date to appear, but as minutes tick by, he never shows. An assortment of emotions sweep through you -- embarrassment, anger and confusion. Congratulations, you've been stood up. It's no fun, but sooner or later, it happens to everyone. Take a deep breath and absorb the lessons learned about his character and manners.
If he's 10 to 15 minutes late, give him a call to see what’s up, suggests the Match.com article, “How to Deal With Being Stood Up.” He should have called by now to let you know, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Leave a polite message if he doesn’t answer, telling him you’re concerned and wanted to make sure he’s OK. Let him know how long you will wait before leaving. After 20 to 30 minutes, feel free to move to Plan B. You can call him back at that point, suggests “What to Do if You’re Stood Up?” on QuickandDirtyTips.com. If you do place a second call, keep it polite and suggest that he call you if he wishes to reschedule.
Take a few moments to feel your emotions and then let them go. Don’t let your boyfriend ruin your evening. Have a good time without him. If he does show up or call you back, he will get the message that you aren’t pining away for him or crying alone and moaning about his rude behavior. Take the attitude that your date was a test of his responsibility and respect for you, and he failed, advises Mira Kirshenbaum, author of “I Love You but I Don't Trust You.”
Let him make the next move. If he calls you back with a decent reason for his rudeness, you might give him another chance. You decide where to go from here. Don’t chase him. Realize he isn’t the only available man. You are better off knowing that he is rude and irresponsible.
Take steps to reduce your risk of being stood up again. Meet face-to-face early in the relationship to verify authenticity and interest, suggests Jane Atkinson, author of "The Frog Whisperer: A 3-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love." When your first date is made, call to confirm details. Confirm on the day of your date to verify details and allow for cancellation. Let that first date verify his character and your ability to trust him.
- Always make your first date in a public place where you can guarantee your safety.
Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.