Romantic Ideas to Win Her Back

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

There are many ways to lose the woman you love, including neglecting her or having an affair. According to the 2008 “The Couple Checkup: Find Your Relationship Strengths” by David Olson and his co-writers, 83 percent of happily married couples list closeness as a vital ingredient in their relationship. Encourage togetherness with romantic activities to win her back.

Fulfilling Fantasies

Your former partner may have a fantasy destination she would love to visit. Her friends know her best and can be a great help. Ask them for tips about her interests and delights that could make your fantasy trip irresistible. Be her chivalrous knight by opening the door for her, whisking her off for a romantic weekend getaway or indulging in some afternoon delight while the kids are at day care or school. Include her favorite flowers, a luxurious soak in a tub, a massage or a scrumptious dinner. Help her remember why she originally fell in love with you with a "Remember When" date, suggest marriage therapists David and Claudia Arp in their book, "52 Dates for You and Your Mate." Remind her why she should give you another chance.

Passionate Sharing

If your former partner is passionate about something, join her in that enthusiasm or learn more about it, suggests Gregory J. P. Godek in "1001 Ways to Be Romantic." Understanding her passion helps you to understand more about her. Take a trip through her favorite part of the country if she likes to snap travel photographs, or visit museums and art galleries if she likes art. Surprise her by initiating conversations about her favorite interest and displaying new knowledge. Give a gift that is tied to her passion, such as a week’s art class with someone she respects or a new lens for her camera.

Vacation for a Day

Plan one day each month as a vacation day (or however often your job will allow) to date your wife, suggests Denene Millner, co-author of “A Love Story” in a article. Eat breakfast together after you get the kids off to school. Visit places significant to your relationship and talk about what it felt like when you first fell in love. Give small but significant gifts, such as a playlist of her favorite movie tunes or a coffee cup filled with her favorite tea bags. Window shopping or perusing catalogs is fun, requires no money and can provide a list of items to purchase for gift-giving occasions, suggest the Arps. End your date at the same time you would finish work and take up your regular routine without anyone knowing that you’ve spent the day together.

Rebuilding Trust with Romance

Your former partner might be more receptive to your efforts to win her back if she knows you have learned something, suggests John Gray, author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” on his Mars Venus website. Write her a loving note that details how much you love and care for her. Let her know you accept responsibility for losing her, what you did wrong, why it was wrong and what you want to do differently. Consistently show her that you can behave differently and be the man of her dreams.


About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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