If your husband forgets your birthday, you probably feel hurt, confused and even shocked. It does not matter if you have been together for many years or only a few months -- having the one you love forget the day you were born is a blow to your sense of self-confidence. You may even begin to question how important your marriage is to him. However, there are most likely fundamental reasons he forgot your birthday, and learning how to respond appropriately will keep your relationship strong.
Bring it Up
If it is late during the day and your husband still has not wished you a happy birthday, bring up the fact that it is your special day but that you do not feel like it has been celebrated accordingly. Express your hurt honestly and do not try to make light of the situation. You may be especially hurt if you have children and you feel that your needs constantly take the "back seat" to theirs. Although you may be tempted to use sarcastic language, stay calm when you announce that it is your birthday.
Listen to His Perspective
Give your husband a few minutes to process his mistake and explain what made him forget your special day. He may have had an extremely stressful day or might be feeling sick and unable to focus. Letting your husband express his case will help him feel better about forgetting such an important event and will open up the lines of communication. While you may not be able to forgive him right away, letting him talk is much better than walking away in a fit of anger.
Ask Him to Make it Up to You
Ask your husband to treat you to whatever you want on your birthday. He would have wanted to take you out on a special date if he had remembered, but he may want to do even more because he forgot. Do not resist his attempts to get you an extravagant present or take you on a date that you will never forget. Let him know what you would enjoy doing or a gift you would enjoy receiving, and then relish your special day, even if it is belated.
Forgive His Mistake
At the end of the day, you will need to forgive your husband for forgetting your birthday. Focus on what is stressing him out if he seems distracted, or what is taking up so much of his time that he cannot remember important events. When you pay attention to what caused him to make a mistake, you are demonstrating mercy and love that will keep your relationship strong for years to come.
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Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.