How to Talk to a Guy on a First Date

by Tamara Runzel

A first date finds most people with a combination of emotions -- excitement, nervousness, anticipation and anxiety. One important component of the first date is conversation, but talking to a guy on that initial date can be difficult. If you try too hard to make the conversation perfect, you’re likely to come across as unnatural, writes cognitive behavior therapy expert Judith Beck for "The Huffington Post." Sticking to some key topics, such as family and your interests, is just one way you can have a successful conversation on your first date.

Tell your date how excited you are to see him, and compliment him on something, such as his choice of shirt color or the location he chose for the date, to start things off. You can then chat about your day or something interesting you saw on the way to the date to get the conversation going.

Bring up something you’re passionate about. This might be your job or a certain subject such as art or history. Relationship coach Rori Raye points out in an article on dating site that bringing up something you’re passionate about helps you convey feelings rather than just thoughts, leading to a better connection with your date. Talking about your passions also shows that you have interests in your spare time and helps separate you from other dates.

Ask your date about his passions and allow him time to share. Don't dominate the conversation. You need to give your date a chance to talk since you’re trying to get to know each other. This shows you're interested in him and that you're not making the date all about you.

Share stories about your family to show your date how important your relatives are to you. Talking about family also gives your date a look at who you’ve been, who you are and what you think a healthy relationship should be like.

Look around your date location if you’re struggling to find something to talk about. You may point out the ambience at the restaurant or something that just happened nearby. However, avoid talking about other people who are around. That can be interpreted as gossip.

Acknowledge any awkward moments during the date and move on. Acknowledging the moment helps break the ice, gives you both a good laugh and probably helps you both feel more comfortable.

Avoid talking about certain topics until later dates. Matchmaker Patti Stanger, in an article on, says these topics include your exes, which just makes your date feel like you're comparing him to others; health issues and money, which are private matters better discussed in the future; and religion or politics, which can be divisive and could lead to arguments -- something you don't want on the first date.

About the Author

Tamara Runzel has been writing parenting, family and relationship articles since 2008. Runzel started in television news, followed by education before deciding to be a stay at home mom. She is now a mom of three and home schools her two oldest children. Runzel holds a Bachelor of Arts in communication from University of the Pacific.

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