Marriage can involve a series of compromises as men and women learn how to avoid doing things that irritate or hurt the other person. But, in some marriages, there may be a persistent issue with one spouse that resists easy solutions, such as a husband who uses sarcasm as a normal part of his vocabulary. This can go from merely an annoyance to a full-blown problem unless you take steps to confront the issue.
Take note of the times your husband is sarcastic and the context in which he uses sarcasm. This will help you determine whether his sarcasm is meant as a joke, or if he's expressing something he wants you to know in a snide manner.
Find a quiet time and discuss your husband's sarcasm with him. Remain calm and bring up all the specific examples of his sarcasm so that he doesn't think you're just being overly sensitive. Ask your husband to express what he needs from you without resorting to sarcastic asides.
Laugh when your husband uses sarcasm. If his sarcasm is intended to be humorous, your laughter will be appreciated and can ease a tense situation. If his sarcasm is actually a front for something more serious that he's trying to tell you, then he may wonder why you're laughing which can initiate a discussion about what his sarcasm really meant.
Diffuse your husband's sarcasm by agreeing with his sarcastic comments. This can help take the sting out of the sarcasm, and also help your husband realize that he's taking things too far. For example, if he says something like "Snails move faster than you do," respond by saying, "You're right, I need to make sure I do things quicker." These kinds of responses may help your husband see that he doesn't need to use sarcasm to make a point about habits in you that he finds annoying. It could also lead to him making a change in how he expresses humor.
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Sampson Quain is a screenwriter and filmmaker who began writing in 1996. He has sold feature and television scripts to a variety of studios and networks including Columbia, HBO, NBC, Paramount and Lionsgate. He holds a Master of Fine Arts in screenwriting from the University of Southern California.