Get a collection of Web sites on which gay people come together to discuss things or network. Some examples are www.downelink.com, www.oursistacircle.com, www.gayfriendmatch.com and www.connexion.org. You should also look for sites that link up pen pals, such as www.penpalparty.com and penpalsnow.com. Bookmark these sites in a special folder, so you won't have to go looking for them every time you log on.

Create your profiles. When you register on some sites, you will have the opportunity to tell the online community a little bit about yourself. Don't spill all the beans -- just tell people enough to make them interested. State that you are looking for gay pen pals, and give a little bit of personal background so potential pen pals can reach you. Some sites have a forum where you can start discussion threads. Title your thread "Looking For Gay Pen Pals" and see what happens.

Join message board discussions. Many people expect that other users will come to them of their own accord. This isn't usually true. You have to join the online discussion to get noticed. Look at other people's posts and profiles. If you see someone you think would be pen pal material, don't lurk in cyberspace -- talk to them. Bring up things you might have in common.

Initiate a one-on-one pen pal relationship. Once you've had a few discussions with people with whom you have something in common, suggest the idea of being pen pals. Because people are busy, you shouldn't ask them to write to you every day -- this is unreasonable and probably won't succeed. Exchange email addresses or home addresses, and let the letters flow naturally. Soon, you might have a lifelong friend.