How to Date a Deployed Soldier

by Paul Bright

If your loved one is a military member and he or she is deployed, your romance is a long-distance one. Although deployments can be lengthy, they are also temporary. You can date a deployed soldier and take some steps to make the relationship last.

Write Letters

The Center for Deployment Psychology suggests that communication is a positive coping mechanism for deployment stress, so writing letters can help ease the stress associated with dating a deployed soldier. Although the Internet has made sending letters almost instantaneous, a handwritten letter can seem more romantic. When you send the letter, include stamps and envelopes so your soldier can write you back.

Send Care Packages

A care package is one of the best gifts a soldier can receive. Some deployed locations have limited access to things we take for granted such as snacks and personal hygiene items. Sending a care package with those items along with personal mementos can boost your deployed soldier's morale.

Use Face-to-Face Video Chat

Some overseas locations have live video chat capability. If you can get access to a computer with Internet and a video camera, you can see your deployed soldier's face in real time. Video chat time may be limited, and although it's usually free on the soldier's end, it may cost you money. Regardless of the duration, however, the sight of a familiar face can give a soldier something to look forward to.

Stay Above Reproach

It's good to keep busy, but try to keep yourself above reproach while your soldier is deployed. Infidelity is a common worry among military families with deployed soldiers; dating couples have similar concerns. Try to avoid events involving risky behavior that's linked to infidelity such as alcohol-related parties and going out to bars. If you do engage in these behaviors and stay faithful, make sure you communicate honestly about what you've been up to. Studies show that stressors related to military relationships involve couples not being completely honest with each other.

Plan for Post-Deployment

Toward the end of the deployment, start making some post-deployment plans with your soldier. These plans might include a vacation after spending some time at home getting reintegrated. Making these plans will help boost your soldier's morale and give her something to look forward to - spending quality time with you after time spent serving the country overseas.

About the Author

Paul Bright has been writing online since 2006, specializing in topics related to military employment and mental health. He works for a mental health non-profit in Northern California. Bright holds a Bachelor of Science in psychology from the University of North Carolina-Pembroke and a Master of Arts in psychology-marriage and family therapy from Brandman University.

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