How Can I Treat My Wife Better?

Dynamic Graphics/Creatas/Getty Images

Best-selling self-help author John Gray, Ph.D., is famous for his book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus." This book makes it clear that males and females are fundamentally different, which can make it difficult to create an environment of healthy cohabitation. In order to treat your wife better, you are going to have to demonstrate your love for her in practical, meaningful ways that she can relate to and understand.


If you are not listening to your wife in an empathetic manner on a regular basis, she will not feel like she is being treated well at all. Harvard University professor Dr. Ron Levant says that women generally exercise "emotional empathy," while men generally exercise "action empathy." This is why most women listen to each others' problems and extend sympathy or encouragement, while most men listen only until they have enough information to launch into fixing the problem. If you want to treat your wife better, you have to understand that she doesn't usually want you to fix her problems, she just wants you to listen and make her feel as though you understand what she is going through. Listen often, and you will score big points with the missus.

Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of New York Time's bestseller "The 5 Love Languages. In the book, he outlines five different love languages that both men and women speak: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and gifts. Find out which of these love languages your spouse speaks most fluently and come up with one creative way per day to show her love in this manner. For instance, if your wife's dominant love language is physical touch, massage her feet after work or hold her hand while you grocery shop together. Do not go straight from your loving physical touch to sex, as this will diminish the value your wife places on the touch. She wants you to touch her even when you are not on your way to the bedroom.

Date Night

It is easy to fall into the pattern of staying home and watching TV after work. Treat your wife better by scheduling a weekly date night where you can both get dressed up and hit the town. Pretend like you are still in the dating phase of the relationship, when you were still trying to win her love. Bring her flowers, plan a romantic dinner or evening picnic in a local park. A movie night every now and then is great, but make sure that date night doesn't turn into your opportunity to see the latest blockbuster. Make date night about her, not you.


When you have been married a while, you can easily begin to take your spouse for granted. Make a proactive effort to treat your wife well by showing appreciation for her on a daily basis. Say "thank you" when she offers to do the dishes this time around. Praise her for achievements at work or with the kids. Dave Klassen, contributor to the Power to Change website, suggests rustling up one of your old love letters and sending it again to your wife in the mail with a note that says, "I still feel this way." These little acts of appreciation will add up fast and result in a wife that feels she's treated like a queen.