If you have a husband whom you love and treasure, you most likely want him to feel excited about your relationship and be willing to work on his connection with you. Perhaps you feel unsure about how to encourage this enthusiasm without being too obvious. You might feel that your husband is distracted by the stress of his job and long to take some of his stress away. No matter what type of situation you are in, there are several ways you can encourage your husband to remain interested in you and committed to the future of your marriage.
Learn to Meet His Needs
Learn what makes your husband happy, and make his interests a priority. While you may not enjoy everything he enjoys or get fulfillment out of the same things he does, this does not mean you should not do these things for his sake. Even if you have no need for sex, for example, you can learn to be a great sex partner, according to psychologist Willard F. Harley, author of "His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage." You may not think you are able to satisfy your husband when you do not enjoy what you are doing for him, but this is not the case. You can experience second-hand happiness from doing things for the sake of his happiness.
Compliment your husband and let him know that he is doing a great job providing for you, both emotionally and financially, if this is the case. Your husband most likely yearns to feel competent, according to Juli Slattery, a clinical psychologist and speaker. If you love him and enjoy everything he does for you, let him know! Do not hold back your praise simply because you think he already understands your appreciation. Using words of kindness to bring a smile to his face will keep him interested in your relationship.
Have Deep Conversations
Make having meaningful discussions with your husband a priority in order to keep your emotional connection strong. Getting all your household chores done is not nearly as essential as staying emotionally connected to one another, according to Dr. Lisa Oz, author of "Us: Transforming Ourselves and the Relationships that Matter Most." Prioritize your time together and put off your "to-do" list in favor of your marriage. Your husband will most likely feel loved and demonstrate a willingness to work on the marriage in turn.
Develop Your Interests
Do something unexpected for yourself, not only to keep your husband interested but also to keep your own interests alive and well. If he does not know what to expect from you, he will constantly wonder what you are up to. For example, by joining a yoga class, you will show him you are passionate about your physical fitness. He will love the fact that you care about your body and want to stay in shape to feel better about yourself as well as look good for him. Even though you are focusing on your own well-being, you will most likely improve your marriage as a side benefit.
- Husband Keeper: How to Keep Your Husband
- Us: Transforming Ourselves and the Relationships that Matter Most; Lisa Oz
Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.