If you are married, you understand that no one is perfect and that marriage often highlights the imperfections of both you and your spouse. While you may want to forget about your spouse's weaknesses, they may be all you are able to focus on. If you cannot get your mind off of what makes your spouse imperfect, it is time to re-evaluate your perspective and work on your relationship. By learning to accept your spouse's weaknesses as well as her strengths, you will be able to enjoy a much more successful and rewarding relationship.
Redirect your focus to your own shortcomings instead of dwelling on the imperfect side of your spouse. In marriage, a healthy forgetfulness of self is essential, according to Matthew J. White on the "Focus on the Family" website. Every time you notice a weakness your spouse has, turn your attention instead to what makes you imperfect and remember you are both human. You may also turn your focus to your spouse's strengths, and learn to accept him for both his positive and negative characteristics.
As you struggle to accept your spouse's weaknesses, practice forgiving her for anything she has done to hurt you as a result of her imperfections. Do not hold on to resentment, or it will eat away at both you and your marriage, according to Dr. Bill Gaultiere, executive director of New Hope, a counseling center. If you have forgiven your spouse for everything she has done to you, you will not be able to stay angry at her or pay excessive attention to her weaknesses.
Make a conscious effort to encourage your spouse when he is struggling or unhappy. Bringing out the best in him and giving much more than is necessary will help your marriage and inspire your husband. You will not want to focus on his weaknesses when you are committed to his well-being and happiness. This will not only help you accept him for who he is, but it will give him the strength to accept himself, as well.
Embrace Your Differences
Start looking at the differences you and your spouse have in a positive light, instead of a negative one. Differences are not to be resented, but should be celebrated, according to Michael Hyatt, author of "Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World." For example, you may be very logical, but your wife is not a logical thinker. Instead of thinking that she needs to work on her logic abilities, pay attention to the fact that she is very verbally gifted, and is much more empathetic than you are. You will learn to accept both her strengths and weaknesses when you realize your differences may strengthen your relationship.
- The Life You've Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People; John Ortberg
- Marriage Moments: The Marital Virtue of Generosity
Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.