Individuals who are comfortable in bed are not afraid to ask for what they want from their partners. Such intimacy can add excitement to a marriage and improve communication between couples. Help your wife feel comfortable and secure and you will gradually make it easier for her to behave more openly in the bedroom, providing an enjoyable experience for both of you while aiding your marriage.
Communicate with your wife about what she is looking for sexually from your relationship. Communication is key in getting her to act more open, since a sense of trust and intimacy can encourage people to feel confident enough to experiment.
Listen to your partner if she says she does not enjoy something. Never pressure her to conduct acts that she is not comfortable with. Forcing her out of her comfort zone will only cause her to withdraw further.
Let your wife take control. Encourage her to choose foreplay activities and sexual positions. If she feels the experience is about her comfort and pleasure, she may open up and tell you her needs and apprehensions.
Move slowly. Don't expect your wife to want to try kinky new positions and sex toys right away. Reassure her that both of you are learning together and only move forward when she feels comfortable.
Compliment her. Often individuals' inhibitions in the bedroom stem from a lack of self-esteem or a belief that one's physical attributes and abilities are not sufficient. Reassure your wife that she is beautiful and that you are satisfied with your current sexual relationship, but thought it would be enjoyable to try new things together.
- "Getting the Sex You Want"; Tammy Nelson; 2008
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