How to Connect Better With My Girlfriend

by Jennifer Oster
Connecting with your girlfriend may be an important step to gaining trust and moving forward with your relationship.

Connecting with your girlfriend may be an important step to gaining trust and moving forward with your relationship.

Connecting with your partner is very important in a romantic relationship. Having a connection can mean being comfortable with a person, being able to express emotions, desires and needs, and feeling a sense of closeness and bonding. If you initiate situations in which your girlfriend feels that she can connect with you, your relationship will likely thrive and grow stronger.

Communicate with your girlfriend. Be honest and tell her that you want to connect with her in ways that make her feel comfortable and ask her how you can do that. She will likely respond to this in a positive way. You will not only learn the insights on the best ways to connect with her personally, but you will open the lines of communication for other topics, and, in turn, you will form a close connection through communication.

Engage in activities that are important to her. For example, if she loves art, surprise her by bringing her to a new museum or an art gallery. By showing that you care about the things she loves, you'll be showing her that you pay attention to what she cares about and likes, and this is an important aspect of building a healthy relationship.

Express to your girlfriend your feelings for her. Tell her that you care about her -- and why. Be specific. For example, say, "I love you because you're so compassionate towards other people and always put others first." By reiterating and verbalizing your feelings for her and being specific, she will feel closer to you.

Touch your girlfriend -- not just in a sexual way. Routine touch in the forms of hugging, hand-holding and cuddling can strengthen your bond and create passion. Many women respond well to loving, affectionate acts that are non-sexual. Do not ever expect something in return -- your girlfriend may not always want or need sex, but she may desire to be comforted physically in other ways.

Ask her how she is doing, on a regular basis -- and mean it. Listen to her problems, fears and worries. Instead of trying to fix her problems right away, listen intently and offer physical and emotional comfort. Give her a hug and reassure her that no matter what happens, you will be there for her.

Do new things together. By trying out new activities or going new places, you will connect by experiencing new and different things as a couple. You will be creating happy, meaningful memories that will become part of your connection as a couple.


  • Instead of temporarily trying to connect with your girlfriend, make it a long-term effort. By continually putting effort into your relationship and connection, you will be more likely to have a healthy and positive relationship.

About the Author

Jennifer Oster holds a Bachelor of Arts in social sciences from Louisiana State University and is also a certified lactation counselor. An expert in the field of infant and maternal nutrition, she began writing professionally in 2005 and has been featured in many nationally acclaimed magazines.

Photo Credits

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