Making your relationship work isn’t about one partner doing all the taking and the other doing all the giving. To be successful, both of you must learn to appreciate what the other brings to the table, flaws and all. To get your girlfriend to see the good in you and appreciate what you add to the relationship, be sure that you’re doing the best you can to contribute.
Listen actively to the things she says. Pay attention to signs that she’s having an extraordinarily good day or a bad one. Listen intently as she’s discussing her feelings no matter if it’s regarding the relationship or not. Give her a chance to vent or gloat when necessary, and take the time to give her feedback as needed.
Do things to help her. Volunteer to help her do small things like washing her car or walking the dog to larger things such as helping with a family crisis or babysitting her niece for her. Put time into the relationship when it’s not just about you and her so that she can see that you genuinely care about everything that has to do about her, not just when she’s with you.
Give the relationship a bit of natural space. Spend a few days away from each other once and a while to allow her some time to miss you. Hang out with your friends or do things solo such as running errands or exercising. Allow her to appreciate you when you return after having some time apart.
Do sweet things for her. Buy her something every once in a while “just because”. Pick up something small like her favorite lemonade or a new pair of sneakers for her aerobics class. Do little things to surprise her to show you’re thinking about her.
Work on the relationship. Be willing to sit down and discuss both of your feelings often. Do an informal checklist of how things are going and always be on the pulse to find out what’s going on in her life. Give her your feelings about things and let her know where you stand in the relationship. Sometimes all she needs to feel appreciated is to know you still feel as excited about her, if not more, as you did when you met.
Crystal Green is a marketing and event management consultant specializing in non-profit organizations and small businesses. Green spent the last seven years working for a statewide education association directing their trade publications, writing articles for programs' training teams and other event-related freelance projects. Green hold a Bachelor's degree in Journalism, and is currently working on advanced degrees.
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