When you start dating someone new, it can be tempting to get caught up in the drama of past relationships. Your boyfriend may have an ex-girlfriend or two who are still interested in him and definitely don't want you anywhere near him. Instead of allowing jealousy to get the best of you -- and endanger your relationship -- there are coping strategies that can help you deal with the situation.
Communicate with your boyfriend about your concerns in a cool, calm and collected manner. Don't get emotional or talk about his ex-girlfriend over every meal. Instead, express your feelings to him in a simple conversation, always emphasizing how much you trust him and care about him. Once the conversation is over, don't bring it up again.
Stay calm. Don't let his ex-girlfriend see that she is making you jealous or uncomfortable. If you see his ex-girlfriend out on the town when you and your man are out on a date, stay focused on him and what you guys are doing together. Keep the conversation between you and your boyfriend natural.
Smile at her and be kind to her whenever she's around. You don't have to become her best friend, but you can be polite. Ask her how her day is going if you see her in class or tell her how nice it is to see her when you run into her out at the club. Being nice to her might inspire her to treat you with more respect.
Focus on your relationship instead of the relationship that your boyfriend had with her. Don't compare yourself to her or try to do things the way that she did them when they were together. Remember, your boyfriend broke up with her and is now dating you, so stick to being yourself.
Ignore her if she ever tries to cause a fight. Walk away from situations where she starts yelling or crying. Don't answer her phone calls unless you know she has a good reason for wanting to talk to you. Don't try to fight back. Be the bigger person and stay out of the drama.
Kate Taylor is a professional writer based in Lafayette, Ind. She has served as an online copywriter in areas such as pet care, education and landscaping. Taylor is working toward her M.B.A. at Loyola University Chicago.