Signs That My Spouse Doesn't Want a Divorce

Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images

Divorce is an emotionally exhausting process as well as an expensive one. Not only is the closest relationship in your life dissolving, but your assets and possessions will be divided and you'll likely need to find a new place to live. As a result, some couples decide to hold off from divorce as they try to mend their relationship. If divorce seems imminent, your spouse may give off signs if the are having second thoughts.


If your spouse suggests that you both see a therapist or a marriage counselor, it is likely that divorce is being reconsidered since there is not much need for a counselor if the marriage is over. Therapy or counseling is all about examining the issues in the marriage and trying to work through them in a constructive way so you both can be happier in the relationship, Suggesting that you both try it could be a last ditch effort to salvage the marriage before it gets legally dissolved.

Delaying Proceedings

Delaying the divorce proceedings or taking longer than expected to go through with plans such as moving out or dividing assets can indicate that your spouse is reconsidering and may not want to go through with it. While there could be many other factors affecting the delay, your spouse may also be trying to buy time to see if the relationship can be salvaged. It is also possible that your spouse is convinced the marriage is over, but doesn't want to divorce now for legal or financial reasons. Speak to your spouse in this instance to make sure you are both on the same page or that you're not misreading anything.

Improved Behavior

Your spouse could be acting more pleasant because of the upcoming divorce so habits and behavior that normally irritate your spouse could not have much effect for the time being. However, if your spouse is really going out of the way to do nice things for you, to make your life easier or to compliment you or make you laugh, it could be an attempt to re-inject romance or positive feelings into the relationship.

"I Love You"

An upcoming divorce is typically the end of any romance or intimacy in the marriage, so if your spouse starts making statements of love, it could very likely mean that the spouse wants to make the marriage work and is trying to gauge your reaction. Never assume this and the context also matters in evaluating these types of statements, but your spouse proclaiming love could be a strong indication that divorce is not the preferred option.