How to Get Your Husband Back When You Are Separated

by Ashley Farley

Voluntary separation is a healthy alternative to splitting up a marriage.

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As many as 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Some couples resort to a physical separation to avoid joining those statistics. Taking time apart can help ease tension, anger and frustration, while giving each partner time to decide what their ultimate goal is for the marriage. If you decide your marriage is worth saving, you need to roll up your sleeves and prepare for the work that comes along with reconciling.

Give Yourself Time

Wait until you are ready to put in an honest effort and work toward saving the marriage. Reuniting too early with your husband can lead to more frustration and may hinder any progress you've both made during the separation. Check in with yourself and decide if you are ready to face the challenges that led to your separation. One or both of you may need a little more time to work through issues before you give your marriage another go.

Initiate a Conversation

Reach out to your husband and ask if he is ready to start working toward a resolution. Share your hopes and goals for the future of the marriage and express a genuine interest in working together to end the separation. No matter how much you want to save the marriage, you can't force your husband to reconcile if he's not ready or doesn't want to stay together. Having that first conversation helps you gauge your husband's feelings, so you can make a plan going forward.

Consider Counseling

Offer marital counseling as a safe, therapeutic environment to meet. A therapist can offer expert, unbiased help to build rapport, communication and develop problem-solving skills. The therapist can also act as a relationship referee while you work out the kinks that led to the separation.

Whether you get help from a counselor or work through things on your own, listen to your husband when he voices frustrations and concerns. Try to sympathize with your spouse, listen carefully, and be respectful with your words. Don't yell, name call or walk away from each other when you're disagreeing.

Share positive, loving feelings with your husband to let him know he is valued. Tell him what you have missed about him, what positive traits he brings to the relationship and what parts of the relationship work best. Apologize for anything hurtful you have done. Accept responsibility for behaviors you need to address.

Spend Time Together

Your marriage likely won't pick up where you left off. Consider this your chance to start fresh. When your husband is ready, start spending time together to reconnect. Enjoy a date together to start back on the path to romance. Emotional and physical intimacy are key to a long-term bond between people. Pick an activity you both like, set aside the serious topics, and focus on enjoying each other's company.

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About the Author

Ashley Farley has been a certified personal trainer since 2008. She is also a writer specializing in healthy living, fitness and nutrition topics. Farley has an Associate of Science in mental health services from the Community College of the Air Force and is pursuing her B.A. in English at Wright State University.