Relationships are often stressful for many reasons but the very idea of relationships can also be intimidating. Relationship fears can arise based on a history of abuse, family problems, or simply a lack of relationship experience. If you get scared when entering a relationship with a new boyfriend or if the thought of a boyfriend itself causes anxiety, you should address those fears before they have an adverse effect.
Identify your biggest fear. You need to know if that fear is intimacy, falling in love too fast, or something else entirely before you can deal with your concerns realistically. "Psychology Today" reports that many people seek out mates who allow them to relive troubled family relationships from their youth. If you have a troubled or distant relationship with your parents or if your parents had a poor relationship with each other, you could be afraid of reliving that in your own dating life.
Discuss your concerns with a therapist. If you have a history of family problems or abuse, a therapist can assist you in working through them in a healthy way to reduce your fear of having a boyfriend. This helps get to the root of your fears, enabling you to move forward in getting rid of them.
Communicate your boyfriend anxieties to any friends who are in relationships. Your friends may be able to empathize with you while also providing useful perspective about their own relationship experiences. This can help alleviate your concerns.
Try hypnosis and meditation as methods of calming your nerves and anxiety, especially before going to parties or other social situations where you could encounter potential dates.
Keep a journal of your thoughts and daily activities. Focus on any new people that you meet and what your feelings are when you meet someone to whom you are attracted. This allows you to discover both mental and behavior patterns that help your fears to develop. In the future, this aids you in identifying those elements as they occur, and you can more successfully calm yourself down as a result.
Date slowly. Moving too fast in the early stages of the relationship can make you feel more anxious and lead to a dissolution of the relationship before it really begins.
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Michael Davidson started writing screenplays in 2003 and has had a screenplay professionally produced. He has also studied martial arts since 1990 and has worked as a licensed security specialist. Davidson has written articles for various websites. He is a graduate of Michigan State University and holds a Bachelor of Arts in advertising.
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