How to Ask Someone If They Are Cheating on You

by Tom Ryan

When you suspect that a loved one is cheating on you, the uncertainty strains your relationship and threatens your happiness. If you think that your partner may be cheating, you owe it to yourself to find out for sure -- but it isn't always as simple as just asking. Nobody wants to admit to cheating, especially if they have been caught in the act of deception, so you must ask in the right way. If you do, you may finally get the answer you've been looking for: the truth.

Keep track of any suspicious behavior you notice that may indicate cheating. For example, if he is uncharacteristically protective of his gadgets or his e-mail account, he may be hiding something. If your partner is emotionally distant, negligent or simple absent, it may indicate that something else -- or someone else -- has his attention.

Sit your partner down in a familiar, private environment where you feel comfortable talking.

Phrase your questions in an open-ended, non-confrontational way. Ask questions related to the reasons you suspect your partner is cheating -- for example, ask about sudden habits like her erasing text messages or spending more time at the gym.

Voice your concerns in a non-accusatory way. For example, express that you are concerned about the two of you growing distant, and ask if there is anything you need to worry about or anything that you can do differently to mend the rifts in your relationship.

Keep an open mind -- unless you have proof, your partner's behavior could simply be the result of needing personal space. Do not accuse your partner of anything for which you have no proof.

Don't hesitate to ask your partner in a straightforward way if he is interested in someone else. Ask as calmly as possible -- if you are emotional, your partner may lie out of guilt or fear.

About the Author

Tom Ryan is a freelance writer, editor and English tutor. He graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in English writing, and has also worked as an arts and entertainment reporter with "The Pitt News" and a public relations and advertising copywriter with the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh.

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