How Can a Wife Rekindle Her Marriage After She Cheats?

by Shannon Philpott

Infidelity in a marriage can evoke a range of emotions from the couple. When a wife cheats, she may be feeling remorse, anger, sadness and loneliness. Her husband may also be feeling resentment, anger, disappointed and hopeless. To rekindle the marriage, it’s important for the couple to foster open and honest communication, coupled with marriage counseling. In fact, many couples survive infidelity and grow closer when they seek counseling to work out emotions and communication problems, suggests the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

End Contact With the Affair

As a committed partner in a relationship, if you have cheated, your husband deserves to know that it is over. End the affair and cease contact with the other person to help rebuild the trust in your marriage. If necessary, avoid visiting places where you could run into this person out of respect for your husband. Once you reassure your husband that the affair and your feelings for this person are over, you can both work to move forward, suggest experts at the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center.

Communicate Honestly

You may not want to relive the infidelity, but if your husband has questions about the affair, it’s important to answer them. When you refuse to answer, it will only cause more doubt within the relationship, suggests the NHMRC. Your husband may begin to imagine the worst, suspect that the affair is still ongoing or distance himself from you. Although it may be difficult to answer tough questions, to rekindle your marriage, it is necessary to re-establish trust between you two.

Take Responsibility

Although your husband is aware of your indiscretion, he needs to know that you have owned your actions. Offer a sincere apology and validate your husband’s feelings. Showing remorse for cheating can help build trust and show your commitment to the marriage, according to the NHMRC. If you reassure your husband that you are willing to work on the marriage and move past the affair, he may be more willing to rekindle the love you both once shared.

Show Your Devotion

It is true that actions speak louder than words. Although you may have expressed that you are sorry for cheating, your husband needs to see your remorse firsthand. Make your marriage a priority by scheduling one-on-one time for conversations with your husband. Show you appreciate him with romantic gestures and displays of affection. A sweet smile, caress and embrace can say much more than words. Plan date nights to spruce up the spark in your marriage, suggests Mitch Temple, director of marriage programs at Focus on the Family.

See a Marriage Counselor

Likely, the emotions you both feel are intense at times. Work through these feelings and create strategies to repair your marriage with the help of a marriage counselor. Therapists and counselors can help mediate disagreements and pinpoint patterns or actions that have disrupted the bond within your marriage, according to Mark Dombeck, clinical psychologist and former director of

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

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