Breakups are never easy, and though sometimes a couple breaks up for all the right reasons, there are other times when the couple would truly be better off together. However, once a couple splits up, it can be difficult to mend the relationship and get back together. If you want to know if your ex feels the same way you do, look for the subtle -- or not-so-subtle -- signs that he's still interested in being in a relationship with you. Also, let him know you still care about him, too.
Contact your ex. This may seem daunting, but if you approach it casually, as you would with a friend, it won't be nearly as scary. Send your ex a text, e-mail or even call her to say "Hi," ask how he's been doing and chat nonchalantly for a few minutes to break the ice.
Apologize for your part in the breakup and in what went wrong in the relationship. Letting your ex know that you've thought about the details of your relationship and that you take responsibility for your part in the problems will showcase that you truly care about him and recognize your faults.
Maintain a friendship by keeping in contact with your ex. Make sure that he wants to stay in contact too, though -- you can simply ask him if you feel comfortable, or you can pay attention to how he reacts when you get in touch with him. If your ex seems happy to hear from you and willing to talk to you for awhile, chances are he's interested in reconnecting.
Support your ex-boyfriend if he's going through a difficult time, such as with school or with his family. Also, reach out during holidays and special days, such as graduation or his birthday. This will show your ex that you remember special days in his life and are truly interested in how he's doing.
- Before putting yourself out there and making it obvious that you care about your ex-boyfriend, determine if this is the best thing to do. If your relationship ended because of something terrible, like physical abuse, you may be experiencing a range of emotions, including wanting to be back with your ex. However, in this case, this isn't the healthiest option, and you'll want to reconsider your feelings and actions before moving forward.
- Take things slow, even if your feelings are strong and overwhelming. Ease into the friendship you're trying to recreate with your ex and don't get overly emotional.
As a full-time writer in New York's Hudson Valley, Lindsay Pietroluongo's nightlife column and photos have appeared regularly in the "Poughkeepsie Journal" since 2007. Additional publications include "Chronogram," the "New Paltz Sojourn," "About Town" newspaper and "Outsider" magazine. Pietroluongo graduated from Marist College with a B.A. in English.
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