How to Be Flirty With Your Girlfriend

by Zora Hughes

When the initial excitement that comes with a new relationship starts to wear off, sometimes the flirtatious exchanges that brought you two together in the first place can fall by the wayside. Flirting is even more important in long-term relationships, according to relationship radio host and website curator Ande Lyons, as couples risk losing that all-important spark and passion that defines romantic relationships. Keep your relationship exciting, fun and fresh by making an effort to flirt with your girlfriend on a regular basis.

Touch your girlfriend all the time. Non-sexual intimacy lays a foundation for sexual desire, according to sexuality counselor and relationship author Dr. Ian Kerner. Hold hands with your girlfriend, kiss her on her neck and allow her to catch you checking her out in public, letting her know you want her and only her.

Compliment her verbally. Complimenting your girlfriend regularly reminds your partner that you find her both physically and emotionally attractive, according to psychologist relationship writer Seth Myers. Tell her she looks beautiful every day. Notice the new highlights she had done, or let her know how much you enjoyed the dinner she cooked for you last night, for example.

Find spontaneous ways to flirt with your girlfriend; spontaneity keeps your relationship exciting. For example, have a decadent dessert from a restaurant delivered to her at work with a flirty note attached, or surprise her by taking her to a Latin dance class to learn a sensual samba routine.

Flirt with your spouse through text. Send random flirty texts when you are not together that will ensure you are on your girlfriend's mind. Send her sweet texts telling her how much you miss her and can't wait to see her, or hint at what you have in store for her when she gets home. Do not send anything explicit to her while she is at work in case someone is looking over her shoulder.


  • Don't fall into the roommate rut. If you live with your girlfriend, it is easy to slip into a roommate-type situation where you don't make the extra effort to keep well-groomed, or keep a little of the mystery that makes your girlfriend find you desirable, according to Dr. Laura Berman, renowned relationship expert and author. Berman warns that treating your girlfriend like a roommate will make both of you feel as if you are not desirable to each other.
  • Make an effort to look good for your girlfriend.
  • Keep the bathroom door closed, so she will have sexy images of you in mind, rather than unseemly images of private bathroom business.

About the Author

Based in Los Angeles, Zora Hughes has been writing travel, parenting, cooking and relationship articles since 2010. Her work includes writing city profiles for Groupon. She also writes screenplays and won the S. Randolph Playwriting Award in 2004. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in television writing/producing and a Master of Arts Management in entertainment media management, both from Columbia College.

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