Teenage dating is fun and exciting, but often comes with a certain degree of uncertainty. When you like a girl and do not know whether she likes you back, it can be hard to think about anything else. The girl you are interested in could be someone you have been friends with for years or a student who sits on the other side of your biology classroom. You might be ready for a full-fledged relationship, but first you need to find out whether she is interested and ready for a relationship, too.
Practice talking with the girl you are interested in. Look at yourself in the mirror as you practice, or grab a friend who does not mind being a guinea pig as you sort out your words. Be direct and thoughtful in your statements and questions so the girl understands what you are asking her. You might say something such as, "Mary, you are so much fun to be around and I always look forward to hanging out with you. I'd like something more, maybe even a relationship. Would you like to spend more time together?" Practice what you want to say until it feels natural, authentic and you feel confident.
Meet the girl you are interested in privately, so that you can talk in confidence with one another. Make sure the environment is conducive to relaxation and good conversation. Someplace like a small cafe or a peaceful park is ideal. Take deep breaths and share your feelings with her. Give her time to respond, and listen to what she has to say. She may be ready for a relationship, unsure or uninterested. Respect her wishes, regardless of whether things go the way you would like them to.
Continue to communicate clearly if the girl says she is ready for a relationship. Talk about your relationship regularly to ensure that you progress at a pace that is comfortable for both you. Different levels of emotional and physical intimacy naturally develop over the course of dating relationships, but sometimes one partner wants to move faster than the other. When you keep the lines of communication open, you ensure that you are both comfortable and respected in your relationship.
- Handbook of Communication and Emotion: Research, Theory, Applications, and Contexts
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Communication Strategies for Intensifying Dating Relationships: Identification, Use and Structure
- Communication Quarterly: Individual Differences in the Communication of Romantic Interest: Development of the Flirting Styles Inventory
- Be respectful when it comes to sexual desires and boundaries within your relationship. Consider religious, moral and familial beliefs as well as the risks and benefits to sexual involvement before you make any decisions about becoming involved on this level at a young age.
Anne Kinsey is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach and missionary, residing in rural North Carolina. She is the founder of Love Powered Life, a nonprofit organization with the mission of creating loving community for trafficking survivors and their families. Anne has enjoyed writing for publications like Working Mother, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Houston Chronicle, Bizfluent and Career Trend. She resides in rural North Carolina with her husband, three children and a house full of furry friends.
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