If it seems as if there must be gays and lesbians in your city but you simply aren't finding them, here are some tips that can help. Who knows, the folks you're looking for could be right under your nose.
Pick up a copy of a local gay and lesbian newspaper or magazine, and consider attending some of the events listed or advertised there.
Search to see if there is a gay guide Web site for your city - it might list personal home pages of locals. You can find a pretty good list of guides at GayGuide.Net.
Visit your city's Metropolitan Community Church, if there is one - it's a predominantly gay denomination of about 300 congregations. Look for these churches in the yellow pages or find a list of them on the denomination's Web site (mccchurch.org).
Attend a meeting of the local chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (pflag.org). The group is for gay people as well as family members, and it is often one of the liveliest and most welcoming groups in town.
Drop by the bookstore and stay awhile in the gay and lesbian section. The other people who visit that section are likely to talk to you because they already know you have something in common.
Answer or place a personal ad - preferably in a gay publication or in the city's alternative weekly newspaper. It may not work, but they are inexpensive and sometimes free.
Do it the old-fashioned way - go to a gay bar. You might be surprised to find some pretty nice people there who - like you - just want to make some friends.
- Don't be too surprised if you get snubbed a few times. Not everyone is looking to make new friends, so don't take it personally when they aren't interested in even a chat.
- You might find gay and lesbian publications in the lobby of some mainstream bookstores, or on college campuses; or you can always check online.