The Safer Approach to Landing a Date
The dating scene can be a scary place, particularly if you’re shy or feeling a little out of the game. Asking someone out can be even more daunting, without the proper dose of confidence and cool. If you don’t want to take the lead yourself, maybe you can get that someone you’ve had your eye on to make the first move and ask you out.
Making sure you’re approachable is key if you want someone to ask you out. Appearing unfriendly or standoffish is not going to convince anyone that spending more time with you would be fun. Smile, make eye contact and don’t be afraid to initiate conversations. Have a few ideas in mind for natural conversation starters. If you both have kids, you can talk about school, hockey practice, swimming lessons, birthday party venues and so much more. If that’s not an option, ask about work, make banter about the crazy weather we’re having or mention a local event that’s coming up. Keep up your end of the conversation when you see each other so that it becomes natural and easy.
Step up your game and in addition to putting it out there that you’re a friendly, fun person to talk to, let him know you’re interested. Keep your conversations light-hearted, and flirt a little. Try to drop it in that you’re single. If someone assumes you’re married, getting that first date is going to be near impossible. At some point, it won’t go unnoticed that you always talk about “I” and never “my husband and I” or “we.”
Move things along by planting the seed with some first date ideas. This makes it easier for the other person to seize the opportunity and make that first move. Talk about a new movie that’s coming out, the cafe that just opened, how you’ve never tried rollerblading or how much you love to go hiking. If you’re approaching the weekend, asking if he has plans is a logical question and a nice segue into asking you out.
You might not be the only one who feels apprehensive about asking for that first date. Make things easier for that certain someone by showing interest and providing some lead-ins he can pounce on. If all else fails, you may have to evaluate whether you’re ready to take the risk and ask him out, or if he’s just not interested and it’s time to move on.
A mother of two, Erin Agnello writes about parenting, relationships and education. Her work has appeared on sites including The Bump and Mom.me. Agnello has been teaching since 2001 and works in special education and early literacy. She holds a B.A. in psychology from Wilfrid Laurier University and a B.Ed. from Windsor University.