Asking out an acquaintance can be even more nerve-wracking than asking out someone you just met. You already know the person is single and you have some things in common, but you aren't sure if the mutual interest in being more than pals is there. You won't know unless you take a leap of faith and ask your acquaintance out. Having confidence and keeping things casual will make asking the person out and dealing with a possible rejection easier.
Determine if your acquaintance seems interested in you. Pay attention to your acquaintance's body language when you see each other. According to David Givens, an anthropologist specializing in nonverbal communication, in an article for dating site Match.com, lifted shoulders when responding to you and the person mirroring your movements can be signs that someone is genuinely interested in you. Other signs to consider include whether the person compliments or lightly touches you often.
Practice being confident before asking the person out. Confidence is a major attraction factor and can make all the difference in getting a "yes" for a date. Ask a close friend to help you practice asking someone out without being timid. Practice using direct eye contact, smiling and holding your head up, all signs of confidence.
Keep the "ask" casual. Ask the person out in a light manner so that it doesn't feel like a pressure situation. You could ask her if she wants to "hang out" at a new coffee shop or go hiking one Saturday with you. Be sure to consider an activity that you know your acquaintance would enjoy. If she says yes to going out, set a time right then and there to make sure the date happens.
Stay cool if your acquaintance turns you down. If he seems reluctant or flat out says no, remain casual and calm to avoid embarrassment. You can either continue conversing in your normal manner or make up an excuse to exit early, telling your acquaintance you'll see him next time. Don't let the rejection get you down. Consider the experience practice for the next time you meet someone you are interested in.
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Asking a Woman for Coffee
- Plan a day date as opposed to something in the evening, which can seem more like a high-pressure date. This way, if things don't go further, it will be less awkward because it didn't feel like an official, more traditional date.
Based in Los Angeles, Zora Hughes has been writing travel, parenting, cooking and relationship articles since 2010. Her work includes writing city profiles for Groupon. She also writes screenplays and won the S. Randolph Playwriting Award in 2004. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in television writing/producing and a Master of Arts Management in entertainment media management, both from Columbia College.