How to Stay Strong During a Divorce

by Noreen Wainwright

Divorce may seem like one of the most difficult things you have ever had to deal with, particularly if you did not want it. However, you will recover. The pain and the turmoil in your heart will, in time, give way to something else. You will change and grow as a person and begin a new chapter, though it may be difficult to imagine this at the moment. Sometimes, a person has to lose something before finding a new purpose and direction in life. You just need to resolve to stay strong in the meantime.

Look after yourself. It is essential to eat well and take regular exercise during this period in your life. Not only is exercise good for you but it also has a calming effect on the mind. Get out into the fresh air when you can. Avoid over-indulging in alcohol, as this is a depressant. Spend time with family members and friends who are supportive and empathetic and who do not require you to rehash the details of your marriage and breakup.

Try some of the activities you put on hold while you were dealing with the emotional turmoil of a failing marriage. You may enjoy attending sporting events, the theater or the cinema. Allow yourself time to grieve for the relationship and to look at old photographs, but then force yourself to focus on something else. Some people find that giving a lot of time and attention to work can be helpful.

Avoid engaging in behavior that is ultimately going to make you feel worse. This may include making late-night calls to your ex when you are feeling low, or engaging in screaming matches when you meet. Avoid revenge fantasies -- remember the adage that becoming happy is the best form of revenge. Try to remember both the good things about the relationship and the bad. After all, you spent time with this person. If you find yourself becoming too nostalgic, remind yourself of the reasons you split up.

About the Author

Noreen Wainwright has been writing since 1997. Her work has appeared in "The Daily Telegraph," "The Guardian," "The Countryman" and "The Lady." She has a Bachelor of Arts in social sciences from Liverpool Polytechnic and a postgraduate law degree from Staffordshire University.

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