The end of a marriage can be emotionally draining, even incapacitating. Depending on the circumstances leading up to your wife's departure, you may be feeling betrayed, or at the very least -- confused. To accept that she has left, move forward in your life and hopefully learn from the experience, because you need to pay attention to your emotional health and find therapeutic ways to deal with your feelings.
Go With the Flow
When a spouse or significant other leaves, expect a wide range of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, rejection, loneliness are all completely natural, but none of them are easy to deal with. It's important that you give yourself the time and space to feel whatever you're feeling right now. Acknowledging your feelings, rather than ignoring them, will help you get through the grieving process, according to HelpGuide.org's article, "Coping with a Breakup or Divorce." If you're angry, scream. If you're frustrated, release some negative energy on the punching bag at the gym. Do whatever you need to do to get through this period of adjustment.
You might not feel like talking to anyone right now, but you can't hide forever. It will be easier to accept your wife's departure if you have the support of positive, caring people who have your best interests at heart, says HelpGuide.org. Share your feelings with those you love and trust. Many people you know may have been faced with a similar challenge and can offer advice or an understanding ear. Avoid anyone who makes you feel worse about your current situation.
Learn a Lesson
By reflecting on what happened during your marriage and subsequent breakup, you may be able to learn valuable lessons about love, relationships and marriage, says licensed professional counselor intern Donna M. White in the article, "Coping with the End of a Relationship" for Psych Central. A negative experience can turn into a positive experience, if it teaches you what you want -- and don't want --- from future relationships, and what you need to work on within yourself to help make your next relationship a relationship that lasts.
Be Your Best Self
Moving on from your marriage means working out what makes you tick. Before, you were someone's husband. Now it's time to redefine yourself, says couples counselor Elly Prior in the article "Getting Over a Relationship After an Affair, Breakup or Divorce" on ProfessionalCounselling.com. Take up running, cooking, surfing, or whatever you've always wanted to try. Say yes to all social invitations that come your way. You never know who you might meet or what opportunities may come your way. Set yourself achievable, but challenging goals. Make your new life an adventurous, rewarding one.
Find Professional Help
If you can't come to terms with the fact that your wife left, the loneliness you are now feeling or your role in the breakdown of the marriage, it may be advisable to seek professional guidance, suggests Prior. A suitably qualified, experienced relationship counselor can help you deal with past issues and arm yourself with the skills you need to survive this challenging time and move onto a happier stage in your life.
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C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."
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