How to Let Go of Anger From a Divorce When Your Husband Cheated

by Jaime Vargas-Benitez

Divorce is commonly associated with feelings of anger and rejection. While it is normal to feel this way, it is unhealthy to allow these feelings to go unresolved. There are many ways in which to work through anger, like physical activity, counseling or anger management. Working through your anger will help bring you through the divorce and release the sadness you hold inside.

Forgiveness Is Divine

A wife who has been cheated on by her husband is going to be angry. You have to work through the bitterness and hurt in order to resolve anger, marriage counselor and family therapist Rick Reynolds says in his article "How Do You Deal With Anger After Infidelity?" Attending anger management classes can aid in finding forgiveness for your ex-husband. Forgiveness does not mean you accept your ex-husband's infidelity; it means that you will no longer hold on to ill will in your heart.

Grieve Your Loss

The pain of divorce is comparable to grieving a death. The anger you feel may be masking feelings of abandonment, loneliness and fear, according to the article "Dealing With Anger and Grief After Betrayal," published on marital skills building website Marriage Missions. Allow yourself to express your grief over the loss of the one relationship you thought would last forever. Writing your feelings in a journal can help with this process, as can creative writing like poetry. Expressing your inner feelings will help ease the anger and it can fade over time.

Rebuild, Even Better

The anger felt after a divorce often masks self-esteem issues, especially where infidelity has occurred. You may feel rejected and betrayed by your partner, even after the divorce. In order to work through the anger, you can work on rebuilding your self-esteem, psychotherapist Lynn Somerstein says in her article "I Can't Get Over My Husband's Affair." You can try activities like meditation, exercise or visiting a support group. These can help you rebuild self-esteem while you work through the anger from infidelity and divorce.

Refocus Your Attention

Setting new goals can take your focus and attention away from being angry, marriage and family counselor Lynette Hoy advises in her article "Life After Divorce." These goals can involve finding a new job if your finances have suffered from the divorce. Goals can also revolve household tasks needing to be finished, or other small personal projects. The small successes will add a feeling of accomplishment to your life and can aid in letting go of anger.

About the Author

Jaime Vargas-Benitez has been a parenting writer since 2010. She has worked in the child wellness field in various roles for over 20 years. Along with the experiences of raising her own kids, she has been privileged enough to participate in the raising of hundreds of other children as well.

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