A lot of hard work goes into maintaining a relationship, whether you are just dating, living together or married. Every couple's ups and downs help them to define the strength of their relationship, which is what causes the relationship to survive or end. Once you reach your forties, breakups are often more difficult to deal with than before. Some people find themselves depressed because it looks like marriage and babies might never happen and others find it difficult because they've been married so long, have kids and a career, and a breakup of marriage feels like starting completely over. Surviving a breakup in your forties is not a simple task but it is something you can survive with class and your dignity intact.
Take every day one day at a time. Every breakup has a beginning, middle and end to the survival process. When the breakup is fresh, concentrate on getting through the day, one day at a time. Eventually you will start to feel better. Over time, you will realize you are feeling more like your old self until one day you realize you have survived and you are a better person for it.
Allow yourself to grieve; it helps you to heal. Allow yourself to feel afraid; after all, you are 40, or older, and you are starting over. Fear is a natural, healthy emotion; allow yourself to experience; it makes the healing process that much better and teaches you a thing or two about yourself.
Get rid of your ex's belongings; clothes, personal items, photos, mementos and memories need to go. The goal is to remove your ex from your life permanently. Don't try to rekindle your relationship, it ended for a reason. Don't torture yourself with constant daily reminders of what your life was like together, remove all traces of your ex from your life and begin adding more of you to your life.
Try to laugh; it helps. Call your friends for a night on the town, see a funny movie or read a funny book. Buy tickets to a comedy show. Do something that makes you laugh because laughing makes you feel alive and well. It also reminds you that life in your 40s after a breakup isn't all bad and that there are still good things going on.
Forgive yourself and your ex, regardless of who is at fault. Bitterness is an ugly emotion and does nothing to make your ex feel badly; it only makes you feel badly.
Learn something new. Take a class, join a club or find a new hobby. Adding new things to your life in your 40s makes you feel younger, happier and gives you something to look forward to after a breakup. In addition, it is a way of helping you survive your breakup. Learning something new is also a way to meet new people.
Spend time with your loved ones. Your friends and family members have a way of making you feel better about yourself when they offer to listen to you vent about your feelings. Rely on them to help get you through this and survive. Surrounding yourself with people and things that make you happy is key to surviving a breakup after 40.
Tiffany Raiford has several years of experience writing freelance. Her writing focuses primarily on articles relating to parenting, pregnancy and travel. Raiford is a graduate of Saint Petersburg College in Florida.
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