How to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

by Stacie Connerty

Many marriages get into a rut in the romance or intimacy department, but passion doesn't have to be a thing of the past. Spicing things up in the bedroom can also spice things up in your marriage as well. Follow these tips to learn what you can do to excite your partner and probably yourself in the process.

Set aside some time that you and your partner have alone time together. If this means getting a babysitter or making sure that the kids stay in their own beds, plan your time and make certain that everyone adheres to your schedule. Make the time together intimate time. It doesn't necessarily have to lead to sex but lay on the bed next to each other. Hold hands and just talk.

Schedule dates together. Although spontaneity is exciting, careers and family tend to get in the way. Set aside a day or two, or even three, each week to spend a little more quality time with your partner in the bedroom.

Leave your partner love notes telling him what he can expect during your next "date night." Be descriptive and don't be afraid to use a little imagination and share with your partner what you fantasize about. A spicy little note can keep your partner going all day in anticipation of what is to come. Tell your partner more about your plan in person when you meet next or on the phone later that day.

Role play with your partner. Dress as a nurse or a doctor and ask him if it is time for his next checkup. Make certain that he gets a lollipop. Some couples like to meet in bars and pretend to pick each other up. Costumes can be found in almost any adult store and can be used multiple times during intimate moments.

Be generous. Feel free to guide your partner and tell her what makes you feel best. Give as much or even more than you get from her. The key to good loving is taking care of your partner's needs and making certain that your other half understands what your needs are.

Break the routine. You may be so used to your everyday life that when you fall into routines it is sometimes very hard to break out. Surprise your partner with an afternoon tryst or wake him up with a little morning love. A little surprise can go a long way to spicing things up.

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  • Try a change of scenery. Rent a hotel room for a night, light candles and try massage oils. Even pop in a video and see who gets aroused first.
  • Slow things down. People get busy in their everyday lives, and spending time with each other does not mean rushing through sex to get it over with. Linger a little and make it last.
  • Always complement your partner. Tell her how much you appreciate her, how good she looks or how good being with her was. Positivity can ignite passion as well.
  • Leave the lights on. Try using a mirror. Take a shower together. Explore other ways to increase the intimacy level.


  • Don't be afraid to try new things in the bedroom. People don't eat the same food every day, so why always stick with the same positions? Pick a new position and try it out. You may surprise your partner and yourself.
  • Make sure that your bedroom is a comfortable place. Poor lighting and too much clutter can make it hard to concentrate.

About the Author

Stacie Haight Connerty has been writing and editing for almost twenty years. She has been nationally published in several magazines and currently writes for several parenting websites. Stacie has an MBA in marketing and has worked in marketing/public relations for 15 years.

Photo Credits

  • greeting card and sexy gift/surprise for a woman image by L. Shat from Fotolia.com