How to Spark Up an Online Relationship

by Karen L. Blair

What can you do when the fireworks fade? Usually when a relationship has lost some of its initial spark it can indicate that two people have become comfortable with each other, something that can be positive, yet still leave you yearning for the excitement you shared in the early days. Couples in online relationships may experience this yearning for a spark much earlier in their relationship, given that they do not have the same ability to connect physically as other couples do. Here are some tips to help you reignite that spark.

Plan something romantic. It is easy for partners to become ingrained in their day-to-day lives and behaviors, including how they behave with their loved ones. To get yourself out of normal routines where you might take your partner for granted, try to plan something special and romantic that the two of you can do together. Perhaps you could read your favorite love poems to each other through a video chat or create a romantic scavenger hunt for your partner online or in his city of residence. For example, use Google Maps to plot out different locations in your lover's city and then give him clues to find each location. He can send you pictures when he solves each clue. Often just the small effort to bring back romance will help reignite the spark you once felt.

Change your routine. If you and your online mate tend to do the same thing day in and day out, try changing your routine. If you normally talk in the evening, talk with your partner at some other point throughout the day, or try using a different form of communication. If you usually chat online, try speaking on the phone or using video chats to add a new dimension to your relationship. Find new ways to connect with each other.

Don't be shy. Just because you are in an online relationship doesn't mean you cannot still participate in the sexier side of love. With the advancements in technology available today, there are many ways to share sexual intimacy with your partner. Not only that, but doing so is more normal than people think, with research indicating that many couples, online or not, engage in some form of online sexual activity with their partners. If you have avoided sexual intimacy with your partner, talk about it and see what you might both be interested in trying out. After all, the mind is the sexiest organ.


About the Author

Karen L. Blair has been professionally writing since 2001. Her work has been published in academic journals such as the "Journal of Sex Research," "Journal of Social and Personal Relationships" and "Psychology & Sexuality." Blair received her M.Sc. in psychology at Acadia University and her Ph.D. in social psychology at Queen's University. She is currently a post-doctoral fellow and research consultant.

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