Protocol for a Niece's Shower & Wedding Gifts

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Your niece is getting married and you would like to shower her with gifts at her bridal shower and wedding. If you have a close relationship with your niece, you most likely already have an idea of her taste, as well as what types of gifts she and her fiance would like. However, for more distant relationships, consult your niece's bridal registry to find out what she and her groom have their eye on.

Bring or Send a Gift

Make sure you give your bridal shower and wedding gift to your niece at an appropriate time and place. If you are unable to attend the bridal shower, it is customary to send a gift. Try to time it so that the gift arrives in time for the shower. However, if you do plan on attending the bridal shower, present your gift to your niece at that time when the other guests do. It is in good form for guests to bring the bride a gift to her shower. The same thing goes for the wedding. If you cannot attend the wedding in person, send the bride and groom a gift. If you can attend, make sure you do not come empty-handed.

Addressing the Gift

Aunts of the bride must address a bridal shower and wedding gift to the bride and the groom. It is not polite to exclude the groom from a card or address tag on a gift box, especially since he will soon become your nephew-in-law. One exemption to this standard is if you are giving your niece gifts of lingerie for a lingerie bridal shower. Clearly, you would not have to make out the card on the lingerie box to the groom.


No rules exist for how many gifts to give your niece and her groom. You can choose to give them one large, more expensive gift, or buy them a bunch of smaller gifts from their wedding registry.

Gift Coordination

It is a good idea to coordinate your wedding gift(s) to your niece with other members of the family, such as your niece's parents and other aunts she may have. Some family members may have the same idea about what kind of gift to buy, so in coordinating with relatives you can make sure that nobody is duplicating gifts. Gift discussions may also result in relatives teaming up to purchase one large gift for the bride and groom.

Spending Amount

It is customary for relatives of the bride and groom to spend more money on gifts than, say, their friends and coworkers. If your niece is getting married, try to spend enough money such that you can give her a gift she will love, but make sure the price is comfortable for your budget. According to a 2010 article in "Forbes Magazine," the average cost of a wedding present from a relative is $129.