A wake is a gathering of family and friends after a loved one's death, often before or immediately after the funeral. Its manner of paying respects is sometimes solemn, sometimes a bit boisterous, but a wake's setting and the people involved help determine how traditional your attire should be. Wakes can be at the funeral home, resembling calling hours; they might also be at a family member's home or at a restaurant or bar.

If it's at a funeral home, you'll likely want to dress as you would for calling hours -- in simple, traditional styles and muted, dark colors, although black is not a requirement. Timing might require that you wear the same clothing as you did to the funeral, and that's fine. Men might wear a dark suit or slacks and dark sweater; women can wear a conservative dress in black, navy or other dark colors, a pants suit, or skirt and blouse in muted patterns. Jewelry should be understated; wear closed-toe shoes.

If family and friends are having a get-together to honor the deceased, you might go a little more casual in your attire. You can wear office casual looks, as long as they're in dark tones; you might even wear jeans and a sweater or suit jacket as long as you wear nice shoes with them. Bright colors usually aren't in keeping with the event, unless a family member has requested them -- for example, if it was the deceased's wish.

Gatherings at eateries or bars might be still more casual. Sometimes people will be coming from work, and so will wear office attire. It's also a chance to honor the departed loved one in a more personal manner -- for example, by wearing ball caps or T-shirts from a favorite team or wearing his favorite colors. Best bet: Ask whoever is organizing the wake what you should wear, and whether there are special requests.