How to Be Positive When Going Through a Divorce

by Becky Swain

It can be difficult adopting a positive attitude when going through a divorce. You likely received no preparation or practice to weather a life transition that places you in a position of new uncertainty about the future. It’s okay to experience anxiety about navigating a divorce, but learning to be positive can help you focus on new dreams and expectations.

Laugh, Chuckle and Smile

Plug into the host of mental health benefits of humor, recommends Laughter and smiles help to safeguard your emotional health by vanquishing anxiety and sadness. Humor permits you to reframe stressful events such as divorce and separation. Incorporate some humor into your day by enjoying a funny video or movie. Familiarize yourself with the humor section at your library, or have lunch with a funny friend. Playtime with children and pets are additional sources of smiles.


Discovering new interests and reconnecting with previous hobbies or activities may prevent you from investing your physical and emotional energy in negative thought patterns, suggests counselor Nathan Feiles. For example, if your workouts at the gym went by the wayside during your marriage, check out the class options, and visualize feeling energized again. If ballroom dancing piques your interest, sign up, show up and put on your dancing shoes.

Kick Back

It’s difficult to be positive when physical and emotional fatigue clamor for your time and attention throughout your day, so choose to respond positively. Recharge your physical and emotional batteries by permitting yourself to take some down time. A divorce exerts a negative toll on your body’s resources, so it’s normal to need a break from the demands of your daily routine, notes clinical psychologist Suzanne Lachmann. Pamper yourself with a pedicure, or visit a new restaurant with a friend. Take a day off from work, remain in your coziest pajamas and order pizza.

Look Forward to Moving Forward

Envision the future with anticipation, and defy the doubts about your future happiness that you may experience, to nurture a positive attitude. When a divorce threatens to splinter your self concept, the ensuing negative emotions can discourage you from looking ahead to the future and envisioning the possibilities that lie beyond the present discomfort. You dreamed dreams and set goals as a married person, and you will set new goals again, but there's no need to abandon every former goal. For example, your plans to revisit the color scheme in your living room, complete a dog training workshop or take a cooking class remain well within your reach. It’s normal to have anxiety about the future, but it will diminish over time. Welcome the new opportunities and aspirations that can replace some of the original goals designed with your former spouse.

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