If there is a moocher living in your home and taking advantage of your good will, you might be unsure about how to put your foot down and insist that he go his own way. While you cannot handle having someone live in your home and use up your resources any longer, you also do not want to leave him in a bad situation in which he has no home, food or money. There are plenty of ways to send a moocher on his way without being rude or overbearing.
Explain the situation. Sometimes, all it takes is a few honest words to make a moocher realize the predicament she has put you in. If she is staying in your basement, eating all the food out of your refrigerator and sending no signs of leaving, she is most likely taking advantage of your kindness. Since you probably offered her a place to stay in order to help her get on her feet, explain that you need evidence she is making an effort to live on her own.
Enable him to succeed. By letting the moocher stay in your home, you are allowing him to be lazy, take advantage of you and spend all of his money the way he chooses. Try being deliberate about enabling him to succeed. For example, you may set up an exact date by which he must have a job in order to continue living in your home; if he cannot find one, you can send the newspaper classifieds his way. If he already has a job, insist he has a budget plan figured out within a week. This will help both of you establish that his stay at your home is only temporary.
Come up with a date. You may need an actual date by which the moocher must move out of your house. Explain to her that you no longer have the ability to host someone in your home, but that you want her to have the time she needs to get herself together before moving out. Offer to help her with her things or to find another temporary home until she can be independent. Only choose this second option if you know for a fact she is trying her best to get out of her predicament.
Avoid the same mistake. After the moocher is out on his own, avoid letting someone into your home who is going to take advantage of you. Helping someone who is unable to help himself is generous and wise, but enabling laziness from a person who does not know any better is not good for you or him. The next time you allow someone to move into your home, establish up-front the day by which he must move out or require a detailed plan for independence including a timeline.
- Your moocher may criticize you or complain when you say you need your home back. Do not feel guilty for doing what is best for your home and family.
Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.
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