Texting while at dinner, during boring work meetings and even while you’re in the bathroom can seem almost normal nowadays. However, before you text your new flame for the sixth time today, this time to let him know the traffic will be horrible on his route home, take your hands off the qwerty screen. Instead of smiling when he sees your text coming through, he may sigh with exasperation because you’re texting him way too much. Beyond being a mere irritant, texting too much can cause significant damage to your relationship.
Although it’s counter-intuitive, connecting too much electronically can get in the way of building a relationship with your new guy. Not only can it lead to miscommunication, says Dr. Susan Heitler in an article entitled, “Four Ways Technology Is Ruining Your Relationship” on YourTango.com, but it can get in the way of connecting face to face. And at this early stage in your relationship, seeing him laugh while you describe the office politics or his eyes light up when you tell him about your favorite hidden coffee shop is priceless.
Think If It's Really That Important
Are you texting just for fun or out of boredom? The day may be going slowly for you but he may have a thousand things on his mind and important business to address. Texting for no reason can become annoying and soon he will think that all of your texts are simply random messages and will begin to ignore them. The channel of communication is a precarious one and you don’t want to overuse it. The less you message and call, the more he will appreciate it when you do reach out to connect.
If He Doesn't Reply
If you’re not getting any replies to your messages for some time, you may be annoying him. Especially if you know he’s not busy and is available to answer your messages. Slow down. Wait for a reply before you text him again. Better yet, stop texting him altogether for that day. This can add a bit of mystery back into your budding relationship and spur him to make an effort to get to know you, says Azedeh Aalai, Ph.D. in an article on PsychologyToday, entitled, “Is Technology Ruining Romance?”
It’s Okay to Be Away
Remember the days before texting when you went out of town and left your love interest for a few days? There was no social media portal to check in with your status and no way to tell him about the awful hotel meal that you had to endure. When you went out of town, it literally meant that you were unavailable, Dr. Aalai points out. Which turns out to be good for your relationship. When you turn off your virtual connection for a while, you both are able to have some much needed down time, says Stephanie Newman, Ph.D. in an article entitled, “Is Technology Ruining Our Lives?” on PsychologyToday. And when you finally do connect, face to face, it will be that much sweeter.
Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.
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