How to Be the Mother of the Bride

Jupiterimages/ Images

Planning a wedding is exciting, but for many mothers of the bride, the planning stage is often extremely stressful, and tension can mount quickly. Still, the mother of the bride is usually essential in planning the wedding and helping her daughter prepare for the big day. You may not be able to get rid of all the stress that comes from planning a wedding, but there are things you can do to make sure the process goes as smoothly as possible and that your daughter and future son-in-law have the best wedding experience possible.

Offer to Help, But Don’t Be Pushy

Weddings are stressful enough for the bride and groom without parents getting involved and trying to take over the planning of the wedding because of their expectations, and while parents often pay for weddings, it’s normal for the bride and groom to most of the planning, according to Real Simple. Chances are your input will be wanted and needed when it comes to help the bride do certain things, such as picking out a wedding dress, but if you’re too forceful about helping, it may cause some friction.

Talk About Money

If you’re like most mothers of the bride, you want to give your daughter and future husband the wedding of their dreams, but for most people, financial limitations are real. If you’re going to be paying for part of the wedding with the help of the groom’s parents or the couple themselves, you need to sit down and have a realistic talk about how much money you can contribute or what you can provide. Be honest. Offering to give more than you can will put everybody in a bind when it comes time to write the checks.

Your Dress

Collaborate with your daughter and the groom’s mother when you’re picking out your dress. It may not seem like a major factor in planning a wedding, but traditionally, the bride’s mother picks her wedding dress first, then the groom’s mother chooses. Instead, try picking out dresses at the same time, that way you’ll both look great and you can coordinate colors so the photos of the bridal party are perfect. When picking a dress, avoid white or the same color as the bride and the color chosen by the rest of the bridal party.

Pick a Thoughtful Gift

As the mother of the bride, it’s likely that you’ve paid for a portion of the wedding or spent a great deal of time helping plan and organize the big day. Your help is really gift enough, but if you want to give the couple a gift, Real Simple recommends picking something with sentimental meaning. If the couple needs items off their registry, pick something they’ll use year after year instead of more utilitarian items such as a coffee maker or blender.