If you're fed up waiting for your boyfriend to propose and find it difficult to stop dropping hints, be aware that your constant pressuring may have the opposite of your intended effect. Most people don't appreciate being bullied into doing something they're not ready for. So bite your tongue, and work out how you can deal with the issue in a more effective way.
Identify Your Motive for Marriage
If you can't stop pestering your boyfriend about getting marriage, you need to be honest about your motives. Identify exactly why you feel so desperate to get married that you won't relax and wait for him to pop the question in his own time. Perhaps you are secretly worried that he doesn't see you as "the one" and that he won't ever get around to proposing. Maybe all your friends are getting engaged and you don't want to be left out. Perhaps your biological clock is ticking and you want to get married before you start having children. These are all common reasons for wanting to get married, but the healthiest reason, by far, is simply that you want to solidify your bond. Getting married just for the sake of it will only lead to future problems, warns psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw.
Take Marriage out of the Picture
Taking the marriage issue out of the equation will help you examine the current state of your relationship. If everything is going well and you feel happy, secure and loved, tell yourself how lucky you are. If there are other issues, however, these need to be dealt with in the right way -- getting married will not resolve anything. Turning your attention away from the thought of marriage and toward your relationship as it is right now, by celebrating the positive and taking the appropriate steps to deal with the negative, will benefit you both in the long term.
It's important to have a realistic view of marriage, whether you are engaged or not. Marriage is a lot more than your fantasy wedding. The wedding only lasts for one day, but marriage should be for a lifetime. The perfect fairytale marriage simply does not exist, warns Dr. Phil McGraw. Marriage will not make you complete or magically sort out all your problems. Getting married can actually magnify those issues and result in even more problems.
Talk to Your Boyfriend
Having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about marriage will be far more effective than constantly pressuring him to propose, says clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake. It's important to choose the right time to have this conversation, preferably when he is relaxed and there are no distractions. Asking him where he sees the relationship going and how he feels about getting married someday may be scary, but it's the only way you'll be able to move on, either together or separately. He may think you are too young to get married, or want to be in a more stable financial position before he proposes. He may tell you that he wants you to stop pressuring him and let him propose in his own way, in his own time.
C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."