When you discover that your spouse is cheating, you feel alone and you might feel worthless. It's something that you haven't thought about, because you never expected to find yourself in that situation. Suddenly you feel that forever might not have a happy ending. There are many things you can do when you discover a cheating spouse.
The first step in recovering from the situation is to seek counseling before you make any decisions about the future and before you talk to your friends and family members. If you tell everyone you know what happened and then decide to take your spouse back, you'll end up feeling worse because of the way others look at you. A counselor serves as a third-party, who remains neutral and can advise you on what to do next. Marital counseling is a good choice if you and your partner decide to stay together.
At some point you'll need to confront your spouse about the cheating, but before you do that, you need to gather evidence. Do you have proof of the cheating such as emails, odd receipts or phone bills? You then need to decide on a plan of attack, which just refers to the way in which you'll broach the topic. Consider doing it at home, where you'll feel most comfortable. Then make sure you have a purpose for bringing up the conversation. Ask yourself why you want to confront your spouse: Is it because you want answers or because you just want to vent your frustrations? Make sure that you stay calm throughout the talk and keep the upper hand by remembering that you did nothing wrong.
One thing you need to do when you discover your spouse has cheated is to look to the future. You need to decide if you want to let go of your spouse or let go of the situation. The decision is either to forgive your spouse and move on together, or forget about the situation and leave. Many people find that they can't stay with a cheating spouse because they can't let go of their frustrations and can never trust the other person again. You can't stay in the situation unless you're willing to forgive your spouse's past indiscretions and look forward to the future. If you feel that you can't forgive, then it's time to say goodbye.
Jennifer Eblin has been a full-time freelance writer since 2006. Her work has appeared on several websites, including Tool Box Tales and Zonder. Eblin received a master's degree in historic preservation from the Savannah College of Art and Design.